So if you happen to follow me on social media, you may read this and think to yourself… hmm I’ve heard this before… well my friends, you are correct! I posted a video where I shared many of these thoughts in May… however… I definitely did not get them all out. Let me explain…
I have been studying and reading God’s word more than any other time in my life. It brings me unexplainable joy. I have also been filling my extra time with listening to podcasts and sermons. I realize that especially towards the end of my week I just feel so…. spent, empty, drained and it definitely leads me me feeling a lot less “Christian” than I did on Monday morning after soaking up all of the Jesus I can on Sunday at church… so to combat this I have decided… why not fill all of my extra time with Jesus… and then just maybe it will help me be the best version of myself… more like Jesus… adding a little WWJD to my life if you will… (little nod to the ever so popular What Would Jesus Do bracelets that became infamously popular in the 90’s and have now… just like the rest of fashion from my childhood, made a triumphant comeback) … but I digress.
So any hoo- I have been listening to alot of sermons by some amazing men and women of God. One day, on the way home from work I felt incredibly inspired… like God was just whispering in my ear… and like a mad woman I knew I needed to get the words out before they vanished into thin air…. You see, I was on my way home to pick up my son from school…and anything productive I may have been doing before I pick him up is completely null and void when I see him walking down the path. Some days I get the excited version of my son, other day’s it’s the exhausted version, or the version who doesn’t want to do homework and only wants to eat Italian ice… it’s a gamble really. But I wouldn’t trade my time with him for anything in the world….So back to me in the car trying to figure out the best way to get these ideas out of my head and onto paper… I decided to text myself a voice memo, perfect! I was pumped! Until I got home and realized that I didn’t click the little “keep” in bright blue and my 10 minutes of rambling was gone… I was devastated. But fear not reader… I had a plan… I ran to my computer; I am completely spoiled and my husband bought me a MacBook a few years ago, and let me tell you- this thing is magic! I can text on it… and yes.. It was there… my voice memos were saved! A few thoughts ran through my head.. Should I dictate my own words? I used to work for a law firm when I was in college, and I used to wear an 80’s looking headset and dictate letters, I could do this…. 2 minutes in and I was over it… I knew there had to be a better way. Picture this… technology that does the work for you… I opened the notes on my phone… and clicked the little microphone… speech to text, perfect…. Why I hadn’t thought of this in the car is a whole nother story. So there I was holding my phone up to my laptop as it typed out my thoughts. Then I just had to email those thoughts to myself, edit them and I was good! I realized I wanted to film a video … Give a mouse a cookie am I right?! So I decided to try using a cool new app that had a teleprompter… after 10 minutes of set up to make sure the lighting looked good… and my son’s Lego’s weren’t in the shot I had filmed a video, I was excited. Except for the fact that when I watched it back- it looked like I had dubbed myself… like a very low budget foreign film, minus some sweet Karate-esque moves. Dang. So I tired again.. With a teleprompting app on my laptop… nope. After about what felt like 300 “takes” as you say in the film biz… I had had enough. I filmed a video with what I had memorized from my “script” after 300 tries. It wasn’t perfect, it didn’t say exactly what I wanted it too, but I felt like it got God’s message across. But now my friends I want to share exactly what God laid on my heart that day driving home from work…. Appropriately titled; Trusting God.
I have been doing alot of studying and focused on God‘s purpose, and trusting God, and try to finding out trying to find out what his true plan is for me and his purpose is for me and that’s been a journey that I have been on for a very long time now, and I recently listen to a few sermons on by some amazing speakers and fantastic distinguished ministers that have really spoken to me. Steven Furtick preached a sermon last week on delayed praise and how sometimes in the moment you don’t feel like praising God; but what you have to do is in those moments get down on your knees and praise God and thank God for the before- what got you through to this very moment- because sometimes you can’t see the reason you were going through struggle until after your through it.
T.D. Jakes preached a sermon on trusting God and in that sermon he talked about the fact that we do not know “what God is making while you’re aching” and you don’t know “what God is making while you’re crying” and you don’t know “what God is making while you’re lonely”, and I stopped and I really thought about my life and really coming to this glorious realization that I would not give up what has happened to me or any of the pain that I’ve gone through! The darkest times or the most painful times in my life for anything because during those times, God was transforming me, and he was helping me write my story, and become the person I am today.
You see, if I wasn't aching, or crying or lonely I would not have cried out to God like I did, and I would not have the relationship that I have with him now and now it is my goal. It is my mission to share God’s light with the world so other people who might be aching, and other people who might be crying and other people who might be in pain- they will be able to hear that there is a peace that passes all understanding that is free to them because Jesus already paid the price -and so that is my goal and that is my mission.
I’m giving the most delayed praise and I am thanking God for rescuing me when I was in college doing drugs and drinking and trying to find acceptance and I am praising God for holding me up by my elbows when I thought that I was going to fall in my face and I couldn’t make it and I am praising God for this illness that I thought was a curse, but now that I realize it’s a blessing, because I can reach out to people who may be dealing or struggling with illnesses and I can share the hope that God has given me. So I am praising God and it might be delayed and I may have had to go through pain and I cried and I ached, but now I am truly free not every day is perfect but every day is with him and that’s really all that matters.
My prayer for you today is that no matter what you are going through you will trust in the Lord because he is faithful and he will never leave your or forsake you and he will always be by your side- and to encourage you to look back on your life and no matter what is going on now, give God delayed praise for what he has done! I pray that God will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you and give you the utmost peace!